I ran out of ways to tell you a lot of things. I think I have given up. I dont even want to talk to you about problems anymore. I'd pour them out on my little private space online.
Every moment spent with you was a happy moment. Was. Now we are arguing everyday. Blame me for getting upset over you not letting me hold your hand. Blame me for making a scene when you said "I hate cranky people" when I was at the verge of exploding. Blame me for getting upset in the middle of an argument you changed the topic to "Gurney where got parking cheap d". Blame me for getting upset you dont want to cuddle. Blame me for trying to make the effort to talk, to talk our problems through, in turn I get a reply saying "dont need to talk, I'm fine". Well I wasnt talking about you. I was talking about us. If you are fine, what about me? Blame me for getting upset you dont treat me right.
I put you first over most of the things just cause I care. Do you? In Langkawi when they told me there free breakfast for 2, the first thing I said was "hey lets wake up earlier for breakfast tomorrow". You said something like not wanting to have breakfast with me, I went on and said "never mind I'll have the breakfast with Fi." Right in front of everyone. And you claim that its a joke after that. Right in front of everyone, cant you show some respect towards me? The first person I thought of having breakfast with was you. What was the first thing you thought of at the same time?
Blame me for not being able to take jokes. Fyi you dont joke about your girlfriend. You dont joke about rejecting her hugs or kisses. You dont joke about her being fat. You dont joke about not liking cranky people when she is cranky. You dont joke about break ups. You dont reject a kiss! (yes I know, I sound so pathetic right?) You dont joke about a lot of things. Because it isnt funny. You crack jokes cause its funny. If you crack jokes to hurt your girl, why would you still do it? Self amusement? People get hurt. It aint funny.
Blame me for taking everything so seriously. Yeah I'm a boring person who cant take jokes. You cant take time to realize things can you? Nobody else's words matter to me more than yours does. I dont care who says anything to me, as long as its not you saying those hurtful words. Because I care. I told you this and got a reply from you saying "care what?"
I'm really tired. I really am.
You told me you love me. I hear it but I seriously dont feel it. You told me to trust it then I will feel it. I was like, wth? I dont feel it through trust, I feel it through, well.. feelings, senses, observation, body language, thoughts, words... basically everything combined.
Though I had a Valentine this year. I thought wrong.
I put too much hope in us, to get disappointed in the end.
I thought I was so heart broken, my heart couldnt be broken any much further. I thought wrong.
Waking up to a fresh new day, trying to forget what happened the night before, putting a smile on my face, to go to bed in tears. As if there's a loop button, it happens everyday.
19 more days till Perth.
I'm giving up, if you still wanna save this relationship, its still savable. But I aint doing anything to save it, anymore.
If you wanna make me smile, you could. If you wanna make me cry, you could too.
i understand wad u are goin thru cuz i've been in ur shoes before.. i might not reali b in the position to tell u wad to and not to do bt as a friend i cud giv some lil advice.. when u meet with this kinda situation the most u give urself the chance to bare with this for a few times bt if it happens all the time even tons and tons of forgiveness done.. i wudnt suggest u to keep on hurting urself inside for someone who does not and do nt knw hw to appreciate u.. u deserve better gal. bt then i hope u'll feel better kay.. smile more, for a better tomorrow.. hugzzzzzz
I ran out of ways to tell you a lot of things. I think I have given up. I dont even want to talk to you about problems anymore. I'd pour them out on my little private space online.
Every moment spent with you was a happy moment. Was. Now we are arguing everyday. Blame me for getting upset over you not letting me hold your hand. Blame me for making a scene when you said "I hate cranky people" when I was at the verge of exploding. Blame me for getting upset in the middle of an argument you changed the topic to "Gurney where got parking cheap d". Blame me for getting upset you dont want to cuddle. Blame me for trying to make the effort to talk, to talk our problems through, in turn I get a reply saying "dont need to talk, I'm fine". Well I wasnt talking about you. I was talking about us. If you are fine, what about me? Blame me for getting upset you dont treat me right.
I put you first over most of the things just cause I care. Do you? In Langkawi when they told me there free breakfast for 2, the first thing I said was "hey lets wake up earlier for breakfast tomorrow". You said something like not wanting to have breakfast with me, I went on and said "never mind I'll have the breakfast with Fi." Right in front of everyone. And you claim that its a joke after that. Right in front of everyone, cant you show some respect towards me? The first person I thought of having breakfast with was you. What was the first thing you thought of at the same time?
Blame me for not being able to take jokes. Fyi you dont joke about your girlfriend. You dont joke about rejecting her hugs or kisses. You dont joke about her being fat. You dont joke about not liking cranky people when she is cranky. You dont joke about break ups. You dont reject a kiss! (yes I know, I sound so pathetic right?) You dont joke about a lot of things. Because it isnt funny. You crack jokes cause its funny. If you crack jokes to hurt your girl, why would you still do it? Self amusement? People get hurt. It aint funny.
Blame me for taking everything so seriously. Yeah I'm a boring person who cant take jokes. You cant take time to realize things can you? Nobody else's words matter to me more than yours does. I dont care who says anything to me, as long as its not you saying those hurtful words. Because I care. I told you this and got a reply from you saying "care what?"
I'm really tired. I really am.
You told me you love me. I hear it but I seriously dont feel it. You told me to trust it then I will feel it. I was like, wth? I dont feel it through trust, I feel it through, well.. feelings, senses, observation, body language, thoughts, words... basically everything combined.
Though I had a Valentine this year. I thought wrong.
I put too much hope in us, to get disappointed in the end.
I thought I was so heart broken, my heart couldnt be broken any much further. I thought wrong.
Waking up to a fresh new day, trying to forget what happened the night before, putting a smile on my face, to go to bed in tears. As if there's a loop button, it happens everyday.
19 more days till Perth.
I'm giving up, if you still wanna save this relationship, its still savable. But I aint doing anything to save it, anymore.
If you wanna make me smile, you could. If you wanna make me cry, you could too.
i understand wad u are goin thru cuz i've been in ur shoes before.. i might not reali b in the position to tell u wad to and not to do bt as a friend i cud giv some lil advice.. when u meet with this kinda situation the most u give urself the chance to bare with this for a few times bt if it happens all the time even tons and tons of forgiveness done.. i wudnt suggest u to keep on hurting urself inside for someone who does not and do nt knw hw to appreciate u.. u deserve better gal. bt then i hope u'll feel better kay.. smile more, for a better tomorrow.. hugzzzzzz
Saturday, January 30, 2010 @ 1:04 PM
